


Head in the sand

by kotaro_kun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beaches, Child Hinata Shouyou, Child Kageyama Tobio, Children, Co-workers, Disasters, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Summer Vacation, Vacation, atsumu is the hysterical husband, bo only cares about his barbecue, sakusa is just trying to make him happy, there's like five children in this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotaro_kun/pseuds/kotaro_kun
Summary: "I willnot," Kiyoomi jerked the phone away from his ear fearing that the pitch of Atsumu's voice might pierce his eardrum. "Spend the Fourth of July locked inside an apartment, roasting meat with three children!"You shouldn't have attempted to stab your only brother-in-law then,Sakusa thought but kept his mouth clamped shut.When his plans for the extended holiday goes down the drain, Kiyoomi agrees to spend it with Bokuto and two other coworkers and their families on a beach house, if only to please his husband. Except the problems start to appear before they even get on the road.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Head in the sand

**Author's Note:**

> please disregard all the discrepancies about the holiday, i know nothing and i don't care enough to make it accurate. tsukishima is pregnant, he's male. the summary sucks, i'm sorry. thanks suguru_slut for the title, let's see if i can finish this.

The school hallway shone in the early morning light, the dozens of “Welcome Back” banners and decorations were illuminated by shades of pale yellow and orange, giving the place an air of happiness, and softness and that childhood feeling that every school holds. The whole place was vibrating with the voices of a hundred energetic kids, fresh out of summer break, talking over each other in their eagerness to boast about their vacations and trips. Except little Tobio, of course, who always seemed to carry a black cloud with him wherever he went. The other children were already used to it and his bad mood became just his normal mood, however some of them would assume that even grumpy Tobio would be slightly more upbeat after months of no school and an entire summer to do whatever he wanted.

Inside the classroom his sour mood only seemed to worsen when he was greeted by the teacher writing in big letters “MY SUMMER BREAK” in the black board with her happy orange chalk. Once finished she faced the class with a welcoming smile that Tobio never learned to trust, folding her arms over her belly in a silent command for the children to settle down and be quiet. Typical, they’ve just come back from summer and the first thing they’re ordered is to listen.

"Good morning class! I assume you all remembered to do the essay about your summers that I have asked you to.” she said with a raised eyebrow.

Most of the children whined or some brave ones even booed, albeit very low, but not Tobio. He scowled down at his notebook who contained the aforementioned essay he’d written in the span of two weeks and was no doubt bigger than everything he had ever written combined.

The teacher smiled, "So who's going to be the first?"

A dead silence fell over the class, all the students glancing around the room refusing to make eye contact with the teacher. As always no one volunteered, just the way Mrs. Ronda preferred. She hummed looking around the room for the poor soul who'd have to read the essay out loud in front of all their peers.

Tobio wasn't an outstanding student, nor was he a super bad one. He was average, and so he always managed to come unscathed when the teacher had to pick someone, but after the terrible summer he'd had he wouldn't be surprised if the bad luck followed him into the school year. He didn't want to read his big essay about his bad summer in front of everyone, and he wanted even less to be the first one to do it, so he appealed to his last resource. He clasped his little hands in front of his mouth and closed his eyes so tightly he saw white spots. And prayed. Or more like he repeated over and over again a mantra of " _Please not me. Please not me. Please-_ "

"Tobio!" The boy growled in frustration, scowling even harder at Mrs. Ronda. Everyone in the room is smirking at him, silently mocking Tobio for his bad luck making him feel embarrassed on top of frustrated. He slided lower on his chair with a sigh, trying to think of something who could take him out of reading.

"Teacher, my essay is too big. Can't I just hand it over instead?"

Mrs. Ronda grinned her evil smile, "We have all the time in the world, Tobio."

He scowled again, glaring around the room when the entire class burst into laughter over his failed attempt. He grabbed the notebook and started reading. It's so low Tobio himself could barely hear it but he hoped the teacher would accept it. Of course she doesn't.

"Tobio. Stand up. And louder." She ordered with a clipped voice, clearly over the boy's antics.

Tobio begrudgingly got up with pursed lips, his notebook clutched in his hands as his vision swimmed at the sight of his terrible writing. His dad was always on his case to practice calligraphy but Tobio never bothered since deciphering his writing was the teacher's problem and not his. Now of course he regrets it.

He cleared his throat and after a deep sigh, began.

"My summer break. My summer vacation was the worst vacation of all. I want to forget it for the rest of my life. It all began at my dad's job. My dad works in a very, _very_ serious company…"

* * *

_Over a month ago ~~_

Kiyoomi focused all his will into ignoring the blaring music and happy drunk yells coming from the party outside his office and instead projected all his attention into listening to the client on the line.

"Yes, everything will be delivered according to the estimated date. The office will close for a couple days because of the Fourth of July, but your paperwork will arrive on schedule, I can assure you."

His vote to ignore everything outside his cubicle is broken when something moving caught his attention. He looked up to see Bokuto gesturing wildly outside the glass walls of his office. What the gestures meant, Sakusa had no idea but the buff man seemed to not care, entering the room grinning with a plastic cup full of alcohol in one hand.

"Can I help you, Bokuto?"

"Look how cool this is." Bokuto stuck his thumb on his mouth blowing on it. Something moving in the man's crotch diverted Sakusa's attention. A party horn appearing and disappearing from the zipper of Bokuto's pants every time he blew his thumb.

Kiyoomi scowled, "You interrupted me to show this?"

Bokuto laughed in good humor, "Do you wanna know how I do it?"

"No, I don't."

Bokuto bended down closer to Sakusa's level, too close for comfort. The black haired inched his face away, glaring at his colleague's suddenly serious face.

"You're too tense! What's wrong, Omi, everyone is having fun, dancing and you're here working?" Kiyoomi tiredly rubbed his face, huffing. "And it's past six o'clock already!" He exclaimed pointing at the company's clock outside the room.

"That clock is wrong, it's still five. Because _someone_ moved it forward."

Bokuto cringed, shushing him." I did it. I move it forward every year."

"Everyone knows that." Sakusa deadpanned.

Bokuto was no doubt the most loved person in the building and one of the oldest employees, besides being one the few people Sakusa could call a friend. Not only he knew everyone but he was also friends with them all. He seemed to have a wedding or party to go to every week, and if there wasn't any he'd throw the party himself. The problem with him? Besides being inappropriate on some occasions, extremely loud and rowdy - apparently having never left his youth behind, he also tended to bend the rules according to his wishes. Like lying to get a day off, or pushing his work to someone else, or delaying a whole project because he was late with his part. Everyone tended to overlook those things in order to stay friends with the charming man, but Kiyoomi's lack of annoyance at his behavior was less of not wanting to be on the man's bad side and more of he couldn't be bothered. It was just easier to pick up Bokuto's slack than to force him to do it.

"Everyone knows it, huh." Bokuto smiled awkwardly. "Anyway, let me make you an offer you can't refuse. It's super cool, I managed to get a beach house for the Fourth-"

"Thank you but I'm going to my brother-in-law's house in Santa Cruz." Kiyoomi interrupted, standing up to stretch his back a little. Bokuto however couldn't be deterred, still trying to convince him into going saying how good the house was, how big and modern. Thankfully Sakusa's work phone started ringing on the table, making Bokuto shut up. For all of the slacking off he did he never messed with other's work and for that little detail he continued to be on Kiyoomi's good graces.

"Itachiyama, good afternoon." The man's eyes widened when he realized it was his boss on the line. "Hi, Barbara."

"Ooh, the witch." Bokuto teased, way more loudly than necessary.

Kiyoomi covered the speaker, pushing him out of his office as Bokuto's teasing continued. "You're getting it on with her, Omi-Omi?" He laughed at Sakusa’s scowl. "I'm watching you, Omi.”

* * *

"A promotion?"

"Yes, New York is waiting for me." His boss said clinking her champagne glass with his.

"Congratulations. You're going to be missed." She smiled, delicately drinking out of her glass. "And do you already know who's going to take your place?"

Barbara opened her arms wide, gesturing to the spacious glass room. From behind her he caught a glimpse of Sawamura carrying a huge gallon of water towards the drinking fountain. "You can start planning the decoration. The promotion is yours. You're the new manager."

Sakusa freezed in shock. He had a hitch that this was going to happen, after all from what other reason would his boss call him into her office and tell the news, they weren't friends or anything. But he also thought it was improbable, since he hadn't been working at the company for longer than some of his peers and wasn't the most natural born leader they had.

"Thank you, Barbara." He managed after his brief loss of composure. "But with so many others with more time in the company-"

There’s a commotion outside the office right behind Barbara, and Sakusa’s voice slowly dies in his throat as he watches Daichi fumble with the water gallon, it loses balance and turns every which way, pouring water on Daichi, on the polished floor, on the neighbouring tables. Everywhere but the water fountain. When Sawamura finally manages to fit the thing in its place there’s about four inches of water left in the twenty liter gallon. Sawamura looked left and right to see if anyone saw the disaster, but forgot to look behind him as he grabbed the empty gallon and went about his day, humming to himself with a fake semblance of normalcy.

He glanced at his boss, who’s watching Daichi’s retreating form with dead eyes.

"Let's be honest here Sakusa, everyone in this department is an idiot. Except you. And for some reason those idiots seem to like you."

* * *

"I'll clean the office tomorrow and forward to you everything that's pending." Barbara said, pressing the lobby button on the elevator. Kiyoomi stood outside the box with a professional face. After what Barbara had said there was nothing left for him to say. He was probably the only person in the department who would manage to not destroy the company, besides maybe Kuroo.

"Of course."

"Oh, and don't tell anyone. At least not before the holiday is over."

Sakusa nods as the doors close. "Have a good holiday."

"Hi, Kiyoomi."

Sakusa sighed inwardly, turning around to be face to face with the owner of the voice, his coworker Tetsurou Kuroo.

"Saying 'happy holiday" to the witch," he clicked his tongue in reproval. "What were you two talking about, huh?"

"Work." He stated simply, walking back to his office, but of course a curt answer wouldn't shake Kuroo off.

"Have you heard the big news?" He asked, hot on Kiyoomi's heels. "There's this secretary from the New York head office that Taketora, from the Maine filial is hooking up, that told him, then he told Kai from the Nevada filial, you know him? So, he told me that the witch is moving to New York." He grabbed Sakusa's shoulders forcing the man to look at him. "Do you know anything about it?"

"No."

Sakusa liked to think of himself as a reasonable person. He didn't go around making friends like Bokuto, but he also didn't snitch on anyone and did his utmost best to not be outwardly rude. He knew that having a good relationship with his colleagues meant an easier daily life. Therefore he didn’t know how he ended up with Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto's best friend and one of the few competent workers in the department, hating him. He only knew that the sentiment didn't go both ways.

"Well, if you hear anything let me know." Kuroo glanced from one end of the deserted hallway to the other and Kiyoomi already knew what was going to come out of his mouth. "I've been on this company for ten years." He hissed, glaring menacingly straight into Kiyoomi's eyes. "And I'll be really pissed if someone else gets the promotion."

Sakusa scoffed, walking away without another word.

* * *

"What is it, Atsumu?" Kiyoomi had arrived at his office to find a sticky note left by Bokuto on his desk, telling him that his husband had called while he wasted time listening to Kuroo's rumbling. He could wait until he left work to call back but for all of Atsumu's faults he knew not to bother Kiyoomi at work unless it was important. Also Bokuto had added an "urgent" on the note.

"Osamu excluded us from the trip to Santa Cruz."

Sakusa frowned, "What? Why? And today?"

"Why, because Rin, that imbecil, only learned today that we were going and he doesn't want us to go with them. Apparently he didn't forget that I pointed a knife at him."

"Not just pointed it, you cutted him."

"It only pierced him a bit, okay? And it was very superficial."

"Yeah, nothing big." Sakusa rolled his eyes.

"And I was stressed that day, Omi, don't forget that. And what is it babe, you're going to keep judging me now?!" Atsumu shouted hysterically at the phone, starting to lose his composure.

"Sorry, sorry." He tried to appease his partner, it would be a drag to spend an entire holiday with a moody and angry Atsumu. "But I thought you had apologized to him."

"I did! I sent him a message."

"And he didn't accept it?"

Atsumu fumbled for an answer, in the background Sakusa could hear their kid's laugh and something breaking on the floor. It was a testament to how distressed his husband was when no scream or swearing left his mouth.

"No, he didn't reply. But I'm sure he saw it! 'Cause there were the two check marks!"

Sakusa huffed, rubbing his forehead. "Listen, let's talk about this when I come home. We can just roast some meat and spend the holiday at home-"

"I will _not_ ," Kiyoomi jerked the phone away from his ear fearing that the pitch of Atsumu's voice might pierce his eardrum. "Spend the Fourth of July locked inside an apartment, roasting meat with three children!"

_You shouldn't have attempted to stab your only brother-in-law then_ , Sakusa thought. Thankfully despite all the stress and pressure he was under he could still control what left his mouth.

"Atsumu, how are we going to find a beach house one day before the eve of the Fourth? Everything is booked!"

"That's your problem!" His husband howled on the phone, and Sakusa could just picture his face red with an angry vein bulging on his forehead. Then the line went dead and Kiyoomi found himself with yet another problem on his hand whose cause was entirely his husband.

* * *

"Bokuto? I wanted to talk to you about the beach house."

"Now?" Kiyoomi looked at the urinal Bokuto was using, hearing the stream of pee hitting the porcelain.

"N-no," he stuttered, snapping his head away. "I'll wait for you to be done."

He turned to stare at the wall, the sound of Bokuto urinating filling the bathroom. Sakusa had been staring at a wall for fifteen seconds while Bokuto was _still_ not finished when a phone started to ring, and it wasn't hard to know it was his coworker's from the ringtone.

"What's up, Saru?" He answered the phone still emptying his bladder. Sakusa decided to wait outside for Bokuto to be finished, since it seemed his bladder held about two liters of urine. He was about to turn the doorknob when he caught a glimpse of Bokuto's conversation. "If there's still room in the beach house? I told ya there's still room, dude."

Sakusa bolted inside the bathroom waving his hands around to get the man's attention. "No! I want the room." He hissed behind Bokuto's shoulders.

"Are you crazy? You said you didn't want it!" He hissed back, removing the phone from his ear.

"I changed my mind- finish peeing first…"

"Omi, you have to decide, buddy. It's expensive to rent for the fourth. And the place is the best, there’s everything, you get it?"

"Yes, you already told me."

"There's a pool, there's a barbecue grill, a golf course." 

"I get it, I just want to know where it is."

Bokuto's face scrunched up in thought, "I can't recall where it is now. Can't remember the name of the place."

How does one not know the name of the place he's going to take his entire family to. "Is it close to Santa Cruz?"

"Santa Cruz?" Bokuto parroted. "Yeah, yeah. Super close, you can walk there."

"Good, then close the deal with me. I'll pay in advance."

Bokuto perked up, "In advance?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then hold up." He brought the phone back to his ear, Sakusa honestly had completely forgotten about the person on the line or about the fact that Bokuto was still not finished peeing. "Saru? Too late, bro. I'll explain later 'kay? Give a kiss on the kids, bye!" He finished the call before looking at Sakusa. "Then it's a deal, right?"

"Yes."

He gave his hand for Kiyoomi to shake it and the man was so stressed that he actually reached towards it before realizing Bokuto was still peeing and had probably held his thing in place using that hand. He snatched his hand, backing away towards the door. "I'd rather not."

Bokuto grinned, "Are you sure? Take a parting gift from your friend, Omi."

* * *

_TOBIO: The next day things were already starting to go south_.

* * *

"Bokuto?" Atsumu said, incredulous. "We're going on a trip with Bokuto, Kiyoomi?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Sakusa replied, playing tetris with their suitcases and luggage in the car trunk, while Atsumu stood to the side sucking angrily on his electronic cigarette.

"I'd rather travel with the horse." He grumbled bringing the stick to his mouth again, almost swallowing it with the force of his inhale. "Tobio, Kiyoko, Kanoka, get off the street!" He yelled at the children who were throwing their beach ball around, laughing unaware of the terrible days they were about to have.

"Bokuto is fine." Kiyoomi amended. Yes the man was extravagant but usually the time spent with him was pleasant.

"Yes, but his husband is a bitch. He's always fake with me and I hate fake people. Thank God I know how to act."

Sakusa rolled his eyes, "Atsumu, please."

His husband huffed, taking another drag. "Is the house good at least?"

"He said it was good. Big. Maybe we can take some time to ourselves." He said, quickly pecking Atsumu on the mouth. He wasn't one to start intimacy or PDA but he knew how a little affection went a long way with his husband, only further proved by the flush on his cheeks and the little smile he tried to hide with the cigarette.

The moment however was ruined by the sound of a musical horn, right across from them on the street. Kiyoomi turned his disbelieving stare to the bright yellow and green mini van with their company's logo Bokuto had pulled up in.

"Hey, hey, hey Kiyoomi!"

Slowly and very reluctantly the two of them approached the vehicle. The roof of the car was packed with beach chairs, surfboards, a cooler, a huge inflatable alligator and that was just what Kiyoomi could identify at a first glance.

"Hi Shoyo, Natsu." He greeted the two children who replied with a cheery "Hi uncle". "Hello, Keiji."

Bokuto's husband smiled softly, "Hello, Sakusa."

Keiji was no doubt one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen, hands down. Kiyoomi also thought he had one of the best personalities too, what with his calm elegant behaviour, but that was before he spent a lot of time with the man and realized he was as petty and witty as his husband. Albeit a lot more protective of Bokuto than Atsumu was of him. But still, for all that was worth this man took a lot with a straight face and composure, different from Atsumu, and that was something Sakusa could appreciate.

"Bokuto, isn't this a company car?" He asked, glancing once more at the logo on the door.

"Shh, shut up, buddy. I borrowed this car for our trip, since Keiji insisted on bringing five suitcases for our three day trip just for himself. And not a single manager is aware of this so keep quiet." Bokuto laughed.

"Good morning, Keiji!" Atsumu yelled from the window with one of his fake smiles.

"Hi." Keiji smiled back with no enthusiasm. And yeah, Sakusa could see how fake it was.

Atsumu's smile fell at the dry reply as an awkward silence consumed the four. Sakusa was ready to turn towards his car and let this conversation die but of course his husband could never give up a bone.

"Now, I don't get why so many fans." He gestured to the spacious back of the car where at least five different fans were stuffed together with their luggage. 

"Do you know where you're going, Atsumu?" Keiji asked in a bored tone, not really waiting for an answer. "You're going to the beach. It's hot there, that's why I'm bringing all these fans. You should bring some too."

Sakusa frowned but Atsumu was the one to utter the question. "There's no air conditioning in the house?"

"You said the house was perfect, Bokuto." Sakusa reminded him.

"The house is great, it's an awesome house." Bokuto assured them with an abundance of hand gestures as Keiji watched silently from the passenger seat. "The house is just a bit… rustic, you know."

"Rustic? What's this talk about rustic?" Sakusa could see his husband starting to get agitated again.

"Is normal to have rustic houses in Santa Cruz, dear." He tried to appease the situation, if only Bokuto had kept his mouth shut.

"No, it's not in Santa Cruz, it's Johnson's."

"What?" Kiyoomi blinked. "You told me it was close."

"Meh, one hour by car."

"One hour?!" Atsumu angry hissed behind his husband's shoulder.

Bokuto blinked startled, "I'm joking!" He laughed. But something in his face made Sakusa not believe him. And he was right. "It's just fifty five minutes." He added in a whisper.

Kiyoomi felt Atsumu's claw like nails digging into his bicep dragging him away from the car. "No, that's not a problem, Bokuto. Come here a second Omi, my love."

"No, we can't not go. I paid in advance." He replied before the other could even ask once they were out of ear shot. He then mechanically went back to piling the luggage onto their trunk while Atsumu huffed like an angry bull around him with his electronic cigar working overtime.

Honestly this wasn't going as well and smoothly as Kiyoomi had wished, but nothing ever went the way he wanted them to, and you learn that when Bokuto is involved with it some bumps along the way are to be expected.

"Who else is going?"

"I don't know," he said, pushing Tobio's surfboard so he could try and close the trunk. "Bokuto invited half the office."

As if on cue a car horn blasted, like they had no neighbors, and Tetsurou's red truck pulled up beside them. The man barely waited for the tinted windows to roll down before leaning his arm against it, with a shitty eating smirk.

"Kiyoomi Sakusa, who would've thought. Traveling with the peasants. Was it a promise or something? Doing some charity work for the poor?" He laughed.

Sakusa never entertained the naive thought that this trip would be purely for relaxation, but now he was starting to get the feeling he had paid for a weekend in hell. With his berserk husband, one of his crazy coworkers, the other who hated him and a sprinkle of hyperactive children.

"Hi Kei!" Atsumu yelled walking around Sakusa with a smile.

"Hi, Atsumu. How are you doing?" Kuroo's husband replied from the passenger seat with as much enthusiasm as Keiji had done, except it was lacking the passive-aggressive tone.

"Great! What a beautiful belly! How far along are you?"

Kei caressed his round belly, "Thirty-three weeks. It can happen any moment now."

Hitoka, Kuroo's teenage daughter, stuck her head out of the backseat between her parents. "But my dad already taught me how to deliver the baby in an emergency!"

"That's alright, girlie, in case the baby boy decides to come early, we'll be ready." He explains to the Sakusas.

Atsumu's eyebrows rose, "Woah, then we might have some emotions during the trip, huh. Ideal for a relaxing trip during the holiday!"

Kuroo laughed, noticing the other's sarcasm. "I'm full of nerves too, but-"

"Hey, hey guys!" They all snapped their necks towards Bokuto's banana minivan. "Daichi said he's coming later. Now let's go to the beach!" He yelled accompanied by his two redhead kids cheering.

Kuroo's whooped, "Kuroo family! Assemble!" He shouted powering up his truck at the sound of Bokuto's engineer roaring.

* * *

_TOBIO: Our trip started well, full of laughter and happiness. But it didn't last long._

* * *

"Papa, are we almost there?"

Kiyoomi inhaled deeply, the sound of a thousand horns, and five thousand angry people shouting were making his head pound. "Tobio, you already asked that twenty times. Stop annoying your father."

"I'm already annoyed, Kiyoomi." Atsumu snapped. His husband had been staring at the window with the deepest frown ever for the last three hours, huffing every thirty seconds, ready to explode.

Sakusa huffed, underrated. "Atsumu, when are you going back to work at the magazine?"

"If you don't like to talk about work, dear, neither do I." The blonde sent him a dirty look before going back to staring out the window, at the completely frozen traffic. It was true that Atsumu had tried to ask him about work when they had set off and Kiyoomi had dodged every question before saying that he didn't want to talk about that. It wasn't necessarily that he didn't want to talk about work, he just didn't want to talk at all, but especially of his job since he hadn't told Atsumu yet about his promotion in fear his big mouth would blurt it out to his coworkers that were traveling with them. Thinking back on it, that was probably what caused Atsumu's bad mood. That and the fact they've been sitting in traffic for three hours with three impatient kids.

Seriously what else should they have been expecting to find? Perfect traffic and a calm drive?

"Papa, can I ask you something?" Kanoka's little voice interrupted the tense silence.

"Yes, Kanoka. Ask." Atsumu responded in a clipped tone.

"Are we almost there?"

Atsumu breathed deeply. "I already answered that to Tobio."

"But you didn't answer to me." Kanoka stated, hugging her Barbie doll.

"Okay!" He snapped. "We are still far and it's going to take long! Very long! Now everyone, quiet!"

If Kiyoomi wouldn't have to deal with being thrown out of the car he would've laughed. Their kids were the best thing in his life. And his husband too. It was a less than ideal situation but things had always been fun and agitated with these four.

"Wait, but I haven't asked anything yet." Kiyoko whined from behind her father. Sakusa clipped his mouth shut to prevent a chuckle from scaping.

Atsumu cried out in anguish. "Ask! Ask away, Kiyoko!"

"Can I buy a popsicle?"

Since the traffic wasn't moving there was quite a fair share of people selling various things, from bikinis to water. Right by the side of their car they were lucky enough to have an old man selling some homemade popsicles, and Kiyoomi was sure he had chosen that position or purpose since not only his car had three children but Bokuto's minivan in front of him had more two.

Soon it wasn't just Kiyoko yelling about the popsicles but Tobio and Kanoka too. The car was full of shouting and banging and Sakusa thought his husband was about to have a stroke.

"No! There's no popsicle for anyone!" He shouted, waving his hands around in anger. "We don't know where it came from, who made it, what water they used! You have to be really stupid to eat that thing!"

* * *

"Daddy, can I get another popsicle?"

"Another?" Bokuto asked, bewildered, sucking on his own popsicle.

"Stop being a glutton Shoyo, you already ate three. Bokuto, if this boy doesn't stop pestering me I'm going to start with him." Akaashi threatened.

"Shoyo, no more popsicles. Sit quiet!" Bokuto told his son, ignoring the boy's whines.

"Mommy, there's WiFi here?" Natsu asked, waving her cellphone around.

Keiji nodded, pointing at something outside the window. "You're seeing that tree over there? It has WiFi. Want to know the password?"

"Yeah!"

"its: shut up and don't bother me."

"All together?" Bokuto laughed as his husband pounced on the back seat snatching Natsu's phone from her little hands.

"Children shouldn't have phones anyway." He said throwing the thing on the glove compartment as Natsu complained behind him.

"Calm down, baby doll. It won't get worse than this!" Bokuto yelped in pain when Keiji twisted his ear.

"I already told you to not call me that."

* * *

"You have to be a fucking Buddha to endure this." Tetsurou mused, angrily unclaping his seatbelt. Kei hummed in agreement, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.

Tetsurou glanced at his husband with a sympathetic smile, reaching to rub his hand in circles on his belly. "How's my boy doing?"

Tsukki didn't reply, just smiled faintly at him. Tetsurou was starting to notice how his husband was acting unresponsive about anything baby related that he said this past week, and it was unsettling for Kuroo. Was Kei having second thoughts about having another kid after so long? No, he wouldn’t think that, Tsukki was as excited as he was, he was probably just tired of all the baby talk and fussing now that he was almost at the end of his pregnancy, after all he already endured eight months of this. 

"Bikinis! A bikini for the hot lady!" A man approached the car's back window showcasing the bikinis he was selling for Hitoka.

"What the fuck did you say?" Kuroo yelled at the man from his window.

"A bikini for the hot lady!" The man repeated gesturing towards Hitoka.

"Hot lady my ass! She's fifteen, my friend! Fuck off or so help me I'm gonna get you!" He roared opening his car door to run after the man.

"Dad, stop!" Hitoka cried from the back, as Kei yelled at him to come back inside.

"Dad, I wanted to see them! I liked how they looked." His daughter complained once Kei’s threats of leaving his ass had forced him into abandoning the chase.

"What is this about seeing them? Middle of the night, _a bikini for the hot lady_.” he repeated in a mocking tone. “Please, stop being so naive Hitoka!"

"You're so over the top he was just selling it." She gave up on reasoning with him, shoving her headphones on again.

"Just selling it…" Kuroo grumbled, scowling at the steering wheel. "I just saved your life."

They sat in silence for a couple minutes before Tetsurou squinted his eyes, glaring at the car in front of them.

"Look at that, Kiyoomi bought a new car again. Must've gotten a raise. I saw him talking with the witch the other day." He shook his head in disapproval without noticing Tsukki look up at the heavens, asking for strength. "I've worked in this company for ten years-"

"Please Tetsurou, change the record!" Kei snapped, rubbing his temples.

"Sorry." His husband replied, reminding himself how tired and uncomfortable Kei must be, at the end of his pregnancy stuck in a car for hours. He rubbed a hand up and down his thin thigh, staggering in shock when he felt something wet touch his fingers.

"Why are you wet?"

Kei glanced down at his own lap, frowning. "Don't know."

Tetsurou snapped to attention, "The water broke!" He shouted, hitting the car horn. "My son is coming!" Poor Hitoka was frantically looking between her parents with frightened eyes as Tetsu lowered Kei's seat all the way down making the pregnant man fall back with a surprised yelp. "Get the towels and scissors, Hitoka!"

"Stop this, Tetsu!" Kei yelled, struggling to get up and hit his husband at the same time.

"Remember to breathe, darling! Doggy style!" He snatched the towel from his daughter's hand.

"I’m gonna murder you, Tetsurou!" His husband said, slapping his arm with eyes burning in anger. "My water didn't break your moron! And fix my seat!"

"But what about all this water?" He asked, righting the seat while Hitoka deflated with relief.

"Is from my water bottle!" Kei shoved the plastic bottle on his face, before huffing and leaning against the window, utterly exhausted.

"Well, at least now you know we're prepared if something happens." Tetsurou chuckled awkwardly, pretending to not see the sharp glare thrown his way.

* * *

"Papa, my game is over." Tobio complained, setting his portable console down on his lap. "What do I do now?"

"My patience is also over, Tobio, and you're not seeing me bother anyone."

The child scowled, turning towards his other father. "Dad, can I play on your phone?"

"My phone is for work, Tobio." Kiyoomi said, facing back at the child.

Atsumu huffed and toned down the conversation in order to not make his migraine worse. Kiyoomi's phone lit up with a new message and he couldn’t help but read the contents of it, since it was there on display in the dashboard. His eyes widened with what he saw.

**Barbara Itachiyama.**

**Promotion.**

**Dear, Kiyoomi. Like we discussed, we need to adjust the necessary details of your prom…**

Before he could even think of questioning his husband about it however, Bokuto materialized on Sakusa's window, knocking on the glass with urgency.

"Do you have a flashlight?" He asked, rolling on the balls of his feet when Sakusa lowered the window.

"What for?"

Bokuto nervously glanced at the children, "I need to doo the doo."

Kiyoomi frowned, "Huh?"

"Drop a deuce."

But the other stayed clueless.

"Unload some timber." He tried.

"Bokuto I'm not understanding what you're saying."

"He wants to take a shit, Omi." Atsumu deadpanned, making all three kids giggle.

"I was trying to spare the kids." Bokuto said, helpless when Sakusa sent him a wittering glare.

"We had already understood it." Kiyoko informed him.

Sakusa shook his head in annoyance, "I don't have a flashlight, take your phone."

"I can't," Bokuto hissed leaning closer towards him. "Shoyo used up all the battery playing Candy Crush."

No way Kiyoomi would ever lend his phone so Bokuto could take a dump with it. He would never be able to answer a call on it again.

"I'll go with you. But I'll be far away."

"Just come fast, I'm crowning." Bokuto pleaded, opening the door so he could climb out.

"You're going inside the forest?" He asked incredulously when Bokuto started opening a way between the bushes.

"I need privacy!"

And so, Sakusa found himself, in one of the few vacations he took, standing by a bush with his phone flashlight on, waiting for his coworker to finish taking a dump.

Three minutes into it and his phone started ringing with a call from his boss, at this point he was hoping something on work went wrong and he'd have to go back home, upset Atsumu be damned since he seemed to be at the peak of his foul mood already.

"Barbara? How are you doing?" He asked, hopeful.

"Bro, the light!" Bokuto shouted from somewhere inside the bushes.

_"Did you get my text?"_

Kiyoomi paused, "Uh, no. But I'm free to talk now."

_"The head office wants to fire some people after the holiday."_

"What?" The man blinked, taken aback. "You could've told me sooner."

_"You're scared of firing your friends, Kiyoomi?"_

"No, of course not." He was mostly surprised he'd have to fire someone so soon. There hadn't been a lot of cuts in his department since he started at the company and to think there was going to be one before he could even officially take his position as manager. His luck just seemed to get better and better.

_"Okay, so you choose who is going to be: Bokuto, Kuroo or Daichi."_

See? Talk about luck.


End file.
